An Unexpected Journey
I remember the first time I felt called to be a foster parent. I was 18 and working at a daycare center. Several children there had come from difficult home lives and I asked, “Lord, why was I so blessed with a great childhood while these kids have already suffered so much and have lost the innocence of childhood?” I believe God responded to me, “Because you know what it’s like to have a good childhood and I want you to share that with them.”
As I moved into adulthood, I pursued a career as a speech pathologist and gained extensive training in helping kids who have been through trauma. I put off my dream of becoming a foster parent because I truly believed the best upbringing for a child is to have both a mother and a father.
Although I had always assumed I would get married someday, that just didn’t happen. My desire to be a mom persisted, so I wondered, “Did being single disqualify me from parenting?” I decided that was up to God.
Nearly 30 years after that first experience of sensing God’s call, I knew it was time to begin the 5-month process of becoming a certified foster parent. As I went through the steps, I knew God could close the door at any point, but He didn’t.
It was quite a process, but the day after I became officially licensed, a three-year-old boy came to me. And boy, did he rock my world!
In those early years with Angel, I had to learn a lot about forgiveness. Forgiveness of the biological family, for the neglectful things that had happened. Forgiveness of the child when he acted out because of confusion or anger. Forgiveness of myself when I couldn’t live up to my own expectations. I’ve learned so much about how God forgives us and redeems the years the locusts have eaten. My son had some bad years, but God is able to redeem them.
As the Lord would have it, three years after I began fostering Angel, I was able to adopt him at the age of six.
Has it been easy? Well, no. But God calls us to do hard things. That’s how we grow and more importantly, that’s how we can lead a hurting child to the loving arms of their Heavenly Father.
Having a great support system has been crucial, maybe even more so because I am a single parent. My parents have been the best grandparents. I couldn’t ask for more from them.
A few years ago, a Foster Care Support Group was started at Scottsdale Bible. We meet the first and third Wednesday of each month. I went to the very first meeting and have been going ever since. Any question, concern, or frustration I’ve had, they’ve been there to meet my need. In fact, I’m pretty sure I have won the honorary Best Attendance Award. With the support of this church, it is possible to be a successful single foster parent.
Through it all, I’ve learned to be faithful, and to realize I’m not in control. I can’t fix things, but I can lean on God. It’s never my plan, but His. He has worked through every circumstance to help me parent my beautiful son and I couldn’t be more grateful.
Learn more about Scottsdale Bible’s Foster and Adoption training, resources and support here.
