A Millennial Mom’s Story
While at a park with her son, Jenni Torres struck up a conversation with another millennial mom who also had young boys. As they got to know each other, Renee told Jenni she was involved in MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) at Scottsdale Bible and invited her. Jenni said absolutely not! “Growing up, I had friends who attended SBC and were always there. I though it was some kind of crazy church that once you started attending, you could never leave!” But as their friendship grew, Jenni couldn’t help noticing the transformation in Renee, and she was curious. A year later, in January 2014, Jenni’s husband began a new career in law enforcement and she was at a really low place because of fear and anxiety for his safety. She told Renee she would give MOPS a try.
As Jenni began attending MOPS, she recalls, “I was feeling this void after my second son was born and Matt graduated from the police academy. I was just a total mess inside, trying to control everything in my life, but it was falling apart. I watched these women who were vulnerable and open, and it was a safe place. I grew up Catholic, and in my experience, struggles weren’t discussed at church. Watching these women just be true friends and look to Christ was something I’d never experienced.”
One night, six months after coming to MOPS, Jenni had a life changing moment. “It was 2am, my husband was working and I couldn’t get in touch with him. Like every night he worked, I was worried he was going to die. I went to my closet shelf to grab a book, and two books fell down on me – a Bible and The Power of a Praying Wife. When I was a 1st grade teacher, a 6-year-old student had given me the Bible and he’d written inside ‘God loves you and so do I.’ The book was also a gift, and the parent had written inside, ‘Love Jesus first and then pray for Matt.’ Seeing those words at that moment brought a feeling of intense freedom. I had so much built up anxiety and fear and I said, ‘Okay, this is it, I can’t handle this anymore, it’s too heavy.’ I said, ‘Jesus, I need You. These burdens I’m trying to carry on my own are way more than I can handle.’ It was at that moment I realized God is bigger than all of this and He can handle it.”
“From that day in October 2014, it’s been an incredible transformation. My marriage was restored and I can now parent my boys without worry or fear. If you ask Matt how I am today compared to two years ago, he would describe me as a totally different person. I started coming to church and he joined me three months later. We’ve been coming for almost two years and he just started volunteering on the security team.” Jenni also invited her parents, sister and brother-in-law, who were very reluctant at first, but are now all attending SBC, and her sister even joined MOPS.
During the same time, Robin Snyder, a Gen X mom, was approached about becoming a MOPS mentor. “Having had a mentor who was a generation ahead of me for the first 15 years of my marriage sustained me. She poured into me and gave me so much rich wisdom from the Bible and her own life. I knew I had to do that for others.” Robin currently mentors a group of nine moms, and one of them is Jenni.
“I told the moms on the first day, the only reason I’m here is that hopefully God can use a crooked stick to draw a straight line. I don’t have a lot to offer if not for Christ and the experience of being a little older. I simply encourage these young women in their relationship with God and to love their husbands and kids. When they face their brick walls, I can be there and say, ‘you’re going to make it through this.’ I look at them parenting now, and it’s so much harder than when my kids were young.”
Social media is difficult for millennial moms. “Girls are posting on Instagram about the amazing creative things they’ve done, and it’s a constant barrage of ‘you’re not as good as I am.’ The comparison game is deadly,” stresses Robin. “There’s a level of perfectionism and expectation among these young moms that they have to do it all and do it well. But I tell them, ‘The goal in your home is to love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and everything else will fall into place.’ It’s so encouraging, to see them yearn for that. Some of these young moms are dying inside. They come in like sponges wanting to soak up whatever they can. It couldn’t happen if different generations weren’t pouring into each other. This is God’s design for the church, as Titus 2 says, that older women teach the younger and share what God has given us.”
Speaking for millennials, Jenni says, “A misconception for me and my generation is that we can do all this on our own, and things should be handed to us and be easy. Sometimes you start to think older people can’t relate to you. Society has changed a lot, but what hasn’t changed is God. He is stable and constant. Our generation tends to put the kids first, and we throw our whole lives into them, but Robin reminds me—Jesus first, then Matt, and that’s the best gift I can give to my kids. She’s given me tools to glorify God in my role as a wife and mom that were the same a thousand years ago. It doesn’t matter what’s happening in the outside world, who’s in government, or what’s happening with technology. If we look to God for answers in whatever situation life throws at us, we’ll be alright.”
“It’s been life changing to have someone like Robin who loves God and has experienced things we haven’t yet who is praying for us and investing time in us. When we question, ‘Am I worthy enough or doing enough?’ she shares a story about her struggles in marriage, parenting and friendships and points us to Scripture. She pours her heart into us and makes us feel safe, like we’re normal and it’s ok.”
“Social media makes me feel like I’m failing in every area of life. I haven’t made a homemade meal in days, my bed isn’t made, and there are dishes in the sink. But then you realize none of that matters. At the end of day, what matters is to love God and love your neighbor. To have someone remind you of that over and over, and to know that person loves you, is incredible.”
Learn more about MOPS and the new evening Marketplace MOPS groups here.
